How to Be Happy When You're Not
It happens to all of us. It doesn't matter who you are, what you are doing or how much you have mastered being happy and positive. Even if you have completely overcome depression. There are days and times when you just don’t feel good.
It’s not that there is something wrong with you, like I said, even the happiest of people have bad days and find themselves in a battle against the ego feeling consumed by negative thoughts and energy.
Those familiar with the Law of Attraction know that getting stuck in a funk lowers your vibrations. The more you feel bad the more you are attracting circumstances that will make you feel the same way. If you are feeling depressed you will attract more things to be depressed about.
For those of us who have a history of depression, anxiety, or other emotional pain - these bad days can take over your life and feel impossible to escape. Something happens such as experiencing a loss, receiving bad news, or even for an unknown reason you just feel bad. Because you are not able to change your mood, you get down on yourself, feel guilty, or fear that you’ll never recover.
Such thoughts result in opening the door to the ego and a windfall of negativity overcomes you. Resulting in an internal battle against yourself.
So how do you keep this endless cycle from happening? How do you keep your vibrations high and your thoughts and mood positive when bad days, weeks and even months happen? It is possible, and with the right frame of mind, it isn’t that hard.
Here are a few things to remember and do the next time you have a not so happy day to help depression and keep yourself on the path of manifesting a life of happiness and abundance.
Don't Try to Resist How You Feel
You are feeling it for a reason. It is part of our physical existence to experience emotions and that includes all emotions.
Even sadness, anger, and depression are all aspects of living a human life.
The brain triggers these emotions in order to learn and adapt to the physical world around us. Many people don’t realize that emotions are directly linked to our physical bodies and many of the emotions we experience are simply a way that our brain is adapting, adjusting, and learning to cope with the world around us.
By resisting emotions, you are simply trying to ignore something the brain believes you need to address to give you the best chance of survival and happiness.
Rather than freeing you from your emotions - resistance will only make the feeling have a stronger hold on you. Which allows it to operate outside your awareness. As Dr. Dan Seigel puts it in his book Mindsight, when it comes to emotions "You can run, but you can't hide."
The Brain Often Gets It Wrong
Although feelings are part of the brain operating in a physical world, it is not always accurate or even correct. Optical illusions are a perfect illustration of how the brain tries to predict and fill in information about the world around us by taking shortcuts and predicting what is going to happen based on past experiences.
Just because you experience a negative emotion does not mean it is true. The same goes for thoughts, just because you had a thought in no way makes it true. You may feel depressed for a day, but it doesn't mean you have to have a full bout of depression. The Law of Attraction even allows us time to change our thoughts so we have time to make sure we are asking for what we really want, otherwise we would end up manifesting some of the craziest things.
Feelings are Short-Lived
We have a tendency to get stuck in negative emotions and states of being - feeling like it will never end. Depression is especially one of these states we tend to feel stuck in.
This happens for several reasons. One is due to evolution and a time when negative feelings kept us alive. It would serve no purpose, in those times, to stop and question why a feeling existed when we needed to take the cues from those feelings and act on them.
Additionally, when we are in highly emotional states, the higher functioning part of our brain (the part that makes us human) ceases to function effectively and the lower brain jumps into the driver’s seat. The problem is that the lower brain has no reasoning skills or logical ability.
A tiny part of the brain called the amygdala is blindly shooting off chemicals resulting in the highly emotional state we are currently experiencing. It takes the upper brain to engage and assess the situation. The brain can then begin producing calming chemicals, which are a direct result of realizing we are in no actual danger. Without the upper brain in operation, we unreasonably feel as if the state we are in will last forever. But, it doesn’t.
The average feeling, good or bad only lasts about 30 – 90 seconds before we are on to the next feeling. Take advantage of this an make the next feeling a good one.
Ride it Out
Many times feelings can teach us and guide us. Even sadness can be healing and guide us in the right direction. One of the main characteristics that make us human is the ability to feel and experience emotions.
Attempting to avoid the emotions you have for a reason, such as times of loss and grieving, is ineffective and even harmful. Yet, nothing is more effective at helping you feel better than to simply let yourself feel the sadness and/or hurt.
Spend a day or two with a box of tissues and let your feelings come to the surface. Recognize the feelings that come up and give them a name. Then pamper yourself with loving care. Being gentle and non-judgmental toward yourself and your feelings as you process and take the necessary time to work through them.
You will notice that by allowing the feeling to just be a part of your life and self-growth process, it will ease up much faster and effectively. If you try to avoid or ignore the feeling it will find a way to creep back up unexpectedly. And then it will only become more difficult to manage in the long run.
You don’t have to worry about the feeling lowering your vibrations because your perspective becomes that of nurturing and loving care toward yourself. Which is an energy of love, learning, and growing. And that is much better than having the energy of fear that results from avoiding or running from the feeling.
Ask for Help
There may come a time when what you are feeling is more than you can manage on your own. And that is just part of life - of being human. There is no getting around the fact that people need people. Its how we, as human beings, have survived for so long.
When feeling depressed asking for help may be the last thing you feel like doing. Negative thoughts can make you feel like you don't deserve it or your being selfish. Your ego may try to convince you that needing help is a weakness and makes you a burden on others. But the truth is, knowing when you need help and asking for it is a sign of strength.
Ask for help from supportive friends and family, go to counseling or attend a support group. If you do not feel as though you can talk to another person about what is going on you can always ask God, your angels, ascended masters and others in the spiritual realm for their assistance.
Are you interested in angels and inviting them into your life? Check out the Life with Angels blog series on sarahdawntunis.com.
Do What's Best for You
Deciding to do what is best for you is not always an easy decision. Focusing on ourselves and own needs can create feelings of guilt. Which is exactly what those of us with depression are trying to avoid. But if you want to be the best version of yourself, you must learn that you are important and what you need is important.
Doing what is best for you in a situation is not selfish. It is actually the opposite. By taking care of yourself and doing what is best for you - you are in a much better place to help others and spread some positivity to the world.
Sit in quiet meditation with yourself and allow the answers to come to you. Ask your angels for assistance to see clearly and understand what it is you need to do to feel better.
When faced with a decision, take some time to imagine what it would be like to carry through each decision. Make a note of how you feel as you imagine each outcome. The right decision, even the hard ones, will bring you a good feeling and clarity about the best path for you to take.
Avoid negative people, images, and energy at all costs. Even if the negative energy is not coming from you, you can still feel it. And most of us can't tell the difference between the negative energy of something else and that of our own.
In times when you are feeling bad, the last thing you need is exposure to the negativity of others. Avoid movies, images, music or anything that carries negative and low vibrational energy as much as you can. This includes well-meaning people who tend to be less than supportive of you and how you feel. Or those who are going through their own problems and seeking out your energy and support to feel better.
When you are feeling sad or low it is the time to focus on yourself and positive energy. Take care of yourself by avoiding and limiting exposure to anything negative or with low vibrational energy.
With the right perspective and tools, you are capable of co-creating a reality of abundance, happiness, and love.
I'd love to hear your experiences with the above techniques. Or let us know how you stay positive on those challenging not-so-good days in the comments below. <3
About the Author
Three years ago my son Was in a tragic auto accident, the day of the accident he called me, He never calls me ,he felt sick, I felt this over whelming feeling of been shaken, I thought I was over reacting because I was always so over bearing ,but as I gave the phone to my husband the shaking feeling got super strong, by the time I realized it was my guides or someone from the other side trying to warn me my son hung up, Shortly after he was in a fatal car accident , he survived, 2 people died and he came back to life three times, over thirteen surgeries later I’m grateful he’s alive but he has suffered brain injury , and all the legal struggles. I am so over whelmed and have been fighting depression and self guilt ever since. I have been seeing numbers for some time now and purchased your book which has helped soo much in so many ways , but I’m still a mess. Thanks you for your advise and continued support for us that struggle. Fear is a great concern although I pray for the Lords guidance and help ,it takes over . I have tried meditating but can never quiet my mind long enough. The explanation u give is amazing . Thnk you n god bless you for helping us humans.
Thank you so much for your comment and for sharing a part of your story. It makes me so happy to hear that I have been able to help you feel even a little better as you go through this difficult part of your journey. It sounds like your son is very lucky, not only to have survived but to also have a mother who cares so much. I hope you soon find peace from the fear and quilt you are having. I am sending love and lots of blessings to you, your son, and your family. <3